2004

Six years ago, I was a far cry from your average 24 year old. Six years ago I had a kindergartner, 2 toddlers, ages 3 & 2, and an infant. All but one in diapers and/or pull-ups. Six years ago, my signature scent was Baby Magic lotion, with a hint of 5am's Enfamil upset. Six years ago, I didnt carry a purse; only a diaper bag. And, most of the time my pants conveniently did not have pockets. Six years ago it was nothing for me to be sitting at my desk at work, and feel a continual discomfort in my bra area. A short while later, I would discover a Winnie the Pooh pacifier tucked between my cleavage. Sexy. Right?

Six years ago I had acquired a traffic ticket. Anyone whom has shared in this awesome experience, knows that there are tremendous fees involved. Fees, not easily waged on a single mother's budget. Luckily, the powers that be allow you to request an extension at a hearing. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity.

I woke up early that morning due to the fact I was nervous; having never been to a courthouse for anything other than child support hearings.

I got all 4 boys ready for the day, loaded them up in their respective safety seats, and started on our merry way. Low and behold, like every other morning, the two oldest boys started arguing over toys that were found in the back half my minivan. Once we reached the babysitter's driveway, I was able to separate the two boys as well as the toys. Then I lugged the younger two inside, while the other two followed close behind. After all four were settled, i was able to continue on my voyage to the courthouse.

Government buildings are similar to airports, for the fact that you have to walk through metal detectors before entering major areas. No problem! I do not carry any sort of weaponry on me. I laid my keys on the conveyor belt leading to the x-ray machine, and walked through the metal detecting mechanism. Imagine my surprise when I set off the alarm as I made my way to the other side. Immediately a woman rushed over to me and proceeded to wave a wand over my body. My pockets kept triggering a beeping sound. Buy why? My keys were still on the conveyor belt.

I reach in, feel around, and instantly turned red as I removed my hand from my pocket. There I stood, holding up the line that consisted of other courthouse patrons, with a bright Yellow Power Ranger in my hand. As I turned around facing the crowd, all I could see were a sea of eyebrows, arched in disbelief.

Six years ago I stopped confiscating toys.